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June 09, 2008
A Suh Mi Sey
By: Joan Wilson
Barrel Children
 Bwoy di week past so fast dat mi all neva realize sey mi neva do mi column! Can you believe it. Yes dis week since as mi read one story bout barrel children mi a guh touch pon it. Is a ting whey mi always concern bout.
Life hard, without a doubt mi agree wid dat and sometimes di parents dem haffi guh look it in a next country, but a don't tink dat both parents should do dat and in di case whey is a single parent home, den dat parent should meck sure sey the children mentally and emotionally alright wid dat decision.
Some a di parents dem guh whey and yuh done know sey dem spoil di visa suh dem caan come and guh as dem please, so di poor child suffer. And to compensate fi di fact dat dem caan physically si di pickney, dem send all kinda stuff from foreign inna barrel come gi dem. Like sey di barrel supposed to meck up fi di fact dat dem not around.
Some pickney well adjusted and nuh matter what life throws at dem, dem just have dis survival instinct whey wi si dem excelling no matter what. But what about those who yearns after mummy or daddy and the only comfort dem can get is a barrel from foreign.
Can a barrel of goods sit down with that child, hug him and allow him to talk to you and really say what's on his mind. Can a barrel physically be there for that child and reassures him everyday that he is one of the most important gifts to you?
For the most part the barrel is just a way to ease the parent guilty conscience because they are not there physically for their children. So they over compensate by sometimes giving them things they don't even need...and don't think the children don't know this!
It’s a tough decision fi any parent make...how do you balance, putting food pon di table and physically being there for your child...without any food! Maybe you will have to go, but put proper steps in place, ensure you have a really good conversation with your child, show dem the realities of life and meck dem know yuh would move heaven and earth fi dem. And please, please, please, meck sure whoever yuh leaving them in the care of will not meck tings worse. Not every aunty and uncle a good parent figure. Monitor yuh pickney proper, cause yuh a guh dey too far fi si wha a gwaan...suh mi sey!
Posted by yardFlex at June 9, 2008 10:22 AM
Comments
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Posted by: Nelly
on June 9, 2008 02:07 PM
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I will agree and say that parents should really talk to their kids and let them understand why mommy or daddy is absent from the home and parents should mek SURE that the person incharge of the child is WORTHY. On the flip side, if mommy or daddy affi leave for betterment of the future; nutten nuh wrong wid sending back a barrel because dem dun nuh deh deh ahready, so A barrell will be welcomed by the child/caregiver.
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Posted by: juicee
on June 9, 2008 02:17 PM
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This ya aritcle HOT!! A so it go fi real, said way. At the end of the day some people dont have no kind of common sense fi know sey that material things no mek it, and not only that leaving you pickney wid a evil and wicked auntie or uncle that no mek it at all.If I was inna that dey position dey , the only somebody me personally would a leave fi mi pickney wid is the father, or not unless mi grand mother who is a sweetheart, cause at the end of the day NOT all grandmothers are good, a lot of them have fi them preferences! A SO DI TING SET UP, IT IS WHAT IT IS.
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Posted by: Whis-Keezy
on June 9, 2008 05:06 PM
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Well I'm a so called "Barrel Pickney" and I turned out well so it can have a positive effect cuz if my parents were here I wouldn't be able to get the necessities that were needed to function in Jamrock plus the gears wasn't bad either, but thats me u have a point some children cannot function without parents.
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Posted by: Senne'
on June 10, 2008 01:26 PM
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When my daughter was born, she became my life. I changed my life around completely. I did struggle as a single mother but she never went without the necessities. I went without myself, so that I could do for her. I always knew where I could go for help (food, etc) when I couldn't hold it down by myself. She didn't have much toys or playthings but we always had food to eat and clothes on our back. I'm thankful that I didn't have to leave her to go abroad to make a living for us. I can't imagine what the parents go through to make that hard decision. My heart and prayers go out to the families affected by this. Stay strong and keep your head up! One Love!!
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Posted by: Incognito
on June 12, 2008 03:56 PM
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This is probably the most serious article on the site right now. The truth is it is unnatural for a mother to separate from her child for lengthy periods and especially when her child is young <7yrs. However, many women do not know the damage this separation will have on them and their children in the long run. The familial bond is shattered and while it can be rebuilt it takes a lot of work. From what I have seen, most barrel children suffer, they become underachievers, lonesome, criminal and their relationships are rocky, not to mention they themselves more often than not are bad parents.
The real question is, is it worth it? Is the pay off worth the sacrifice. In most cases it is not worth it, poverty can only shackle a lazy unambitious person, but those who have a vision and a drive to break the bonds of poverty will overcome it. Before any woman choose to walk this path, think long and hard, have a plan, set dates. Save money in your own country and have a mentality to drop everything and return home if needed. DO NOT leave your children with just anybody, make sure they are left with a trustworthy, moral, upstanding person. The bottom line is develop a strong secure bond with your child and its better if you leave after they are 7yrs old, preferably, after they have past age 12 that way you would have had a chance to instill some morals and values and they would be old enough to understand the reason why you are leaving, that you have not abandoned them, but you are going for economic reason. Give them an expected timeframe of when you will be reuniting the family. I know I have spoken specifically about mothers, I am not prejudice against mothers, it is simply that a motherless child is much more affected emotionally. May God go with those who choose this path.
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