Spring Break with PaPa & Razzi


"Gone a Negril - we gone a Negril - PaPa & Razzi live from Negril"

We gone ah Negril! Yea, it's Papa and Razzi coming to you live from the decadent town of Negril where the crazy Spring Breakers are gathered, and plotting to take over the town.

We arrived last night to attend the Spring Bling '06 pre-party on the Negril strip. Trust me, there were crazy girls on the strip that night, some heading to The Jungle, and we soon spotted other girls of the streetwalking variety dressed in some bootylicious fashions that fired up our overactive, testosterone-filled imaginations.

An encounter with a Pimp
We stopped to approach one of the girls to get a picture so that we could share the experience with y'all, but a man nearby approached us quickly, laughed disdainfully at our request and barked: "Cut!"
Not being "au fait" with the local customs of Negril, we said: "Huh?"
"Leave. No picture," he translated.
Alrighty then.

So we left, and headed to the venue nearby where Rebel T was rinsing out some wicked juggling tunes, but we could tell from the echoes that inside was empty, so we jammed outside a little, chatting with the locals. We approached 'Scotchy' from Sainty (St. Elizabeth) who was selling some 'corn tea', a peppery soup which he claims is made with peanuts, escallion, thyme, scotch bonnet pepper, and of course, corn. We drank two cups to 'buss the gas', a necessity for Razzi because of his embarrassing gas problem - a subject which we won't get into now.

A YardFlex For A LapDance
We hung out, checking out the scene, and there was a man doing some cool wheelie moves on a CBR bike, but we soon got bored, and decided to check out the adult club, Triple X in downtown Negril. After getting some directions from a taxi man, we found the nightclub.

We worked out a barter with the girls, and scored a few lap dances. It was the first ever Give-a-YardFlex-Get-a-Lap-Dance promotion, and it was awesome. We were very impressed at the double-jointed moves of girls like Racquel, Simone and Little Miss. Just ask Razzi. We drank "Guinness by the crate", hung out with the girls, and we were the last ones to leave the club at minutes to 4.

We got up this morning, had breakfast at Jenny's Restaurant in West End, and then had a swim at our pool at Negril Escape. We've made quite a few friends, but all we can say is that the Springbreakers here are some crazy m-fers, and that the locals here are quite friendly, especially now that they realized that we own our own newspaper. MURDER!
Later, we hit the street en route to Father Dozer's big stage show, 'Spring Bling 2006'. Mad ting! We're going to have great pictures and an awesome story of our continuing adventures this Spring Break. Stay tuned.