25-y-o man complains that his 40-y-o wife doesn't like to bathe

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(In a recent letter to Dear Pastor, this is what a young man had to say.)

I am 25 years old and I got married in January to a woman in her 40s. It was not an official marriage. We did it because both of us attend a church and the rule is, we must get married before we can sleep together. I do not have children, but my wife has three.

Now that we have got married to fulfil the requirement of our religion, we would like to get married the legal way.

But, pastor, I have found faults in this woman and I don't want to go through with the legal marriage. Another thing, this woman doesn't want to go out and work.

She wants me to take care of her and the children. I told her they are not my children and she said they are mine because we are married.

When I told my mother I was going to get married, she told me I was crazy. Now I cannot tell my mother what I am going through.

She doesn't bathe every day and she wants me to sleep with her. She says if I love her, I must accept her as she is and don't complain.

Her children are respectful. I don't have any problem with them, I am having problem with her. I want my wife to be clean and smell good.