Sting out with a bang...NOT! Sting Awards show whimpers

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kip-rich-sting-awards.jpgPathetic is perhaps the kindest word one could find to describe the travesty that took place on the lawns of Devon House on Boxing Day, December 26, 2016. What was packaged as a red-carpet-invitation-only awards ceremony to recognize those who have contributed to the success of Sting over the umpteen years of the show's existence, turned out to be a hard lesson in what not to do when staging an event of this nature.

First of all, the e-vites asked invited guests and their 'plus one' to arrive by 7:00 PM. However, the poorly produced and scantily attended event did not get started until close to 10:PM. Not only that, but in the absence of a vital guest list at the entrance, the security told guests that they would not be allowed to enter without their invitation. What the hell!? Seriously? Who attends these function with an invitation? It gets better. Having been informed that the invitations were sent via email, the security then asked the invited guests to show him their invitations ...on their emails.... using their smart phones. Ohhhhhh!!!! The audacity of it all!

Well, having passed the intense scrutiny and the sickie finally flying the pearly gates, we were gleefully rubbing our palms -- and everything else -- in anticipation of having quite a treat. Surely, no less a being than the angel Gabriel would have been seen beyond the gate, perhaps serenading us with his harp. That was not to be. What? No Gabriel...after that invasive background check at the gate? Okay, we were prepared to see at least Barack Obama....nope. Oprah Winfrey?..Nope. Donald Trump? The Pope? No and No.

After doing a walkabout, and being careful not to get our heels sinking in the grass, we finally spotted the night's big celeb, looking rather important amidst a gaggle of ordinary folk...none other than Kippo. Looking quite dapper and taking his role as the headline act at the event, the man who was awarded the Sting Clash Champion plaque said he was honoured to receive the award.

Actually, Kip Rich saved the night for Isaiah Laing and his Supreme Promotions partners, because he was the biggest artiste to grace the event with his presence.

Just take a quick listen to the roll call of the awardees who were absent: Brigadier Jerry, Josey Wales, Charlie Chaplin, Masicka. Selector Skyjuice, Junior Reid, Michael "Lick Shot" Palmer, Half Pint, Vybz Kartel, Buju Banton, Etana, Sagitarius Band, Merciless, Stitchie, Beenie Man, Papa San, Pinchers, Lady G, Ninjaman, Sister Charmaine, and Bounty Killer .

None of the Icons of Sting were present or sent representatives; none of the incarcerated artistes sent reps and of the Sting Hall of Fame inductees, only two sent representatives -- Ruff Kutt Band and Capleton. All the others were no-shows.

If after 32 years in the business of producing an annual stage show of the magnitude of a Sting, the organisers could not get one lickle awards show right, then it's little wonder that Sting is in the mess that it has found itself. And did we mention that the host for the evening was originally reading from a piece of paper with hand-writing scribbled thereon? Then,someone had a brilliant idea to give her the tablet to read from. Perhaps this suggestion came from none other than the social media savvy sickie who had earlier demanded to see our email on our phones as proof of our e-vite.